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Marriage among the Igbo of Nigeria By :Celestine A. Obi

III Polygyny

Not every people accept the view that a man should have only one wife. Among the Eskimos for instance, it has observed that whereas each husband married one wife, a man of fair means could marry two or more to make himself socially important. Also, although monogamy may be the accepted practice among the peoples of the Kalahari Desert and Australian aborigines, still polygyny is said to be found among them too. Some sociologists and anthropologists try to make up a general explanation for the existence of polygyny, saying that it occurs mainly among pastoral and agricultural peoples. But this statement is only a little short of becoming an illicit generalisation, for the Tuareg nomads of the Sahara Desert are practically monogamous even though they are a pastoral people and practised the Islamic religion which guaranteed a plurality of wives. Experts like Westermarck and others asserted that polygyny represented a decadent form of marriage. This is at best a theory, which has yet to be developed or dropped. Furthermore, although it used to be held in the 16th. and 17th. centuries that Mohammed was the inventor of polygyny, hence its spread in Africa and Asia seemed to be coterminous with the spread of Islam, nevertheless, it has been found out that polygyny was much more widespread than this.

The Igbo social order is patriarchal Marriage is both monogamous and polygynous. In the past, polygyny was rather encouraged and supported while today the support is at least tacit or implied since society still accepts it as a lawful form of marriage. We have cited instances first to show the aerial dimension of polygyny, in other words, that it is not restricted to the Igbo people, nor to pastoral and nomadic peoples, and secondly to show the different reasons for, and circumstances in which different peoples adopted and perhaps still tolerate polygyny.

ii) Reasons for Igbo Polygyny

"As far as polygyny is concerned, there are various reasons why a man may want to possess more than, no wife:

a) among many peoples, a man must refrain from intercourse with a woman who is pregnant or nursing;

b) among savages, women age early and lose their attraction for men;

c) many men like change....;

d) Quite often, the barrenness of the first wife leads to taking a second, in conditions namely, where great value is placed on posterity".

Among the Igbos, polygamy is adopted for economic and social, and for sexual and other reasons. In the past, it was the normal ambition of every family-head, to continue to add to the number of his wives throughout his fife. The man needed many hands so as to cope with the work in his farms. Women themselves are generally very good at farm work. A wife does not only help but within some few years, her children will join the team. Love for having children is another dynamic factor that leads to polygyny among the Igbo people. Children are a great asset, and so every marriage has procreation as its raison d'être. When a marriage has proved fruitless, then another woman, (at times one already pregnant outside marriage) is sought to redeem the situation. If the husband fails to or delays before taking a wife, he sets the ball of gossip rolling. Often people advise him to act quickly. "Marriage must be fruitful. Of what use is it, if it is not fruitful? One year is enough for any woman who would have a baby to begin making one".

A second wife may also be taken if the first becomes impossible to live with. Both will now compete to win the good favour of the husband. We have also seen cases where the first wife led the way in marrying a second wife into the family. It is not only for economic reasons or to have children that has made polygyny to flourish as it did in lgboland. Many people, especially Chiefs married for social prestige. Just as it is the custom that among the Lango people of Uganda, there is no limit, so also among the Igbos there is none either. It is not uncommon to find a man with 5 to 10 wives or sometimes even more. It is taken for 9Canted that such men can feed the wives, otherwise they fall prey to public criticism and gossip. It is important to point out here that the polygyny meant here as found among the Igbo people is different from the. 'harem' type. It is polygyny in the strict sense. We can not say that sexual reasons are completely absent from Igbo polygyny but from our observations it can be said that they are not among the principal ones. Igbo women were never enclosed in harems.

iii) The general attitude of Igbo women towards polygyny?

One of the arguments usually adduced against polygyny is that it implies a disregard for the feelings of women. However this may not be applied in the case of the Igbos and many other peoples who are 'polygynous. The jealousy of co-wives is said to be engendered but this is denied in the case of the Ashanti and some other African peoples as well as for New Guinea, Australia, also the Eskimos and then the Kaffirs. As a rule, the jealousy of co-wives is not the characteristic of Igbo polygyny. Granted that women in polygynous families at times quarrel, but bickering between women who live and work together can not be avoided no matter whatever their relation to one another. The regularity and gravity of these largely depend on the wives' level of education and the man's ability to rule the large household. An Eskimo wife, asked why her husband married another wife, answered: '1 asked him myself, for I am tired of bearing children'. This mentality is also found among the Igbos as we have already shown. It does not however mean that the Igbo wife's value is set on bearing children alone, but rather that the Igbo love for children is so deep and extensive that the first wife would want children in that family, even if she herself was not a mother. Polygyny also settled sexual difficulties as Dr. Westermarck explained. In the past, the Igbo and Lango custom of not weaning a child till after three years, which went hand-in-hand with that of non-cohabitation between husband and wife although the three years created a great sexual problem especially for the man. The solution was found, not in going against this custom but taking another wife. However Miss Kingsley's assertion that "West African women do not care a 'tinker's curse' about the relations of their husband, with other women, provided he does not waste on them the cloth, etc., which they regard as their perquisite, could not be applied to the Igbo polygynous family. Moreover, in our submission, the statement is too sweeping and at bottom, a complete misrepresentation of the actual situation. This is because, the fact that polygyny is accepted among a people does not necessarily mean that their sexual morality is low. Polygyny well understood and as it exists among Igbos is as distinct from promiscuity as darkness is from daylight. In short the Igbo woman is well reconciled to the idea of polygyny. Where there were many wives often there were also many children and so an assured hope of a most resounding second funeral ceremony - an honour which pagan parents so much cherished and looked up to. Where it is difficult to obtain a husband, polygyny creates a situation that will make it possible for many more women to be absorbed into the married state. In fact, women in a polygynous household are usually on good terms. They give help to one another and bring about the better organisation of the household. Consequently, it can be said that in the past, polygyny was in its zenith among the Igbo where affluence existed and where the desire for a large family was strongest. Today however, a change of attitude may be noticed among the Igbo women. As an informant told me, it takes more time, more money, more anxiety to bring up children today than it did in the past. It will not do, merely to brine children into the world, there must be some notable assurance of being able to educate them. Moreover the Christian religion which has thrived in lgboland teaches that true marriage is monogamous and that polygyny must be abandoned. Therefore the present change of attitude towards polygyny is not merely due to the defects inherent in polygyny as such, but also due to contact with the western civilisation, the emphasis on higher education and higher standard of living and the impact of the Christian religion. top

iv) The defects of polygyny

Just as it is said that no system of government, is necessarily the best, so also it can be said that all things being equal, no system of marriage is necessarily the best. Monogamy is the prevalent institution in many parts of the world, but this does not mean it has not got its defects. In fact monogamy is a lofty ideal to be aspired to, but its practice is so imperfect that at times it would seem better to legalise polygyny. This is a speculation

The point we are making is that monogamy in practice is equally full of many defects and scandals in the world of today, while in principle it is a lofty ideal. The polygynous system can lead to the economic exploitation of women, that is, by reducing them to mere tillers of the soil, fetchers of water and hewers of wood. In the case of harem polygyny, the woman can be reduced to the man's pleasure object, things that are destined to the satisfaction of his sexual urge. Furthermore, it does sometimes happen that the women are too many for one man to cope with, so that, they of necessity have to seek lovers outside the family. Socially it may at times not be to the best interests of the woman. According to certain cultures the other wives of the polygynous household, are subordinate not only to the husband but also to the 'chief wife'. Being a second wife has other disadvantages. For instance, the co-wives are not admitted to baptism as long as their husbands is alive and cohabits with them. This creates a highly embarrassing situation, not only for the priest and his assistants, but also for the women who after attending catechism in preparation for baptism, often get the apology , "Sorry madam,1 I can not baptise you, it is against the law of the church". In fact many Igbo women still find themselves in this awkward predicament. In this way, polygyny holds back the forward march of evangelisation among many peoples of Africa. Now we come to the maintenance of the family. In general, only the well-to-do are expected to take more than one wife. But it does often happen that people who began life rich end up in stark poverty. This is worse in a polygynous household, where there will be too many mouths to feed but very little output due to the fact that the man and his wives must have grown old or at times are suffered from prolonged unemployment. We have already said that the women of a polygynous household cohabit peacefully, and this is true in most of the cases I have personally observed. However I have to add here that this amicable cohabitation always presupposes the existence i n that family of a fair amount of wealth and contentment. Many a time children from polygynous household show signs of incomplete parental upbringing, especially on their father's side. Today for instance, it would cost ten times normal to keep the polygynous household and to educate the children. top

A word for polygyny

To begin with, all we are saying here is that monogyny being the approved and ideal, is in practice full of abuses. Polygyny has its good points but is not to be compared with monogamy. Polygyny is condemned on the grounds that it implies an outrage to the feelings of women. This may be true but only up to a point. For as we have already shown, Igbo women, do not detest the husband's marrying other wives. As for the Igbo , so also the Kaggirs, the Ashanti, the New Guineans, and the Eskimos. An Akikuyu East African woman gave the following message to the women of Europe: "Tell them two things, one is that we never marry anyone we do not want to, and the other is that we like our husband to have as many wives as possible". What this lady said applies very much in the case of the Igbo women as has been made clear earlier on. It applies too to the different peoples among whom polygyny is found. Consequently the opinion that it arouses feminine jealousy has to be modified. Feminine jealousy, it must be remembered, is much more a product of social condition than anything else. It is an effect, not a cause. It shows the woman's desire not to part with the male on whom she depends for protection and economic support. It does not as a rule refer to the relations of the male with other females, as long as the said relations do not form any danger to the economic and love association. In many cases this does not happen. It can be argued that our contestation here applies only to women of the far distant past and not to those of today, since what used to be true of the females in the past need not necessarily be true of those of today. This is due to the fact that women today enjoy more social, economic liberty than their counterparts ever did in the past. It must be admitted however that the s o-called emancipation of women has not given to all of them economic independence. For one thing, women today with higher education and emancipation, still need protection from their husbands. For another, the number of working women that have attained economic independence is infinitesimally small considering them on a world basis. Again, polygyny is widely regarded as a moral virtue; to support as many fellow human beings as possible is not only a mark of wealth but a form of philanthropy. In its absence, very many women would be forced to live a miserable single life. It is not uncommon to read from some European anthropologists and sociologists that polygyny is lent among primitive or uncultured peoples while they speak of monogamy as a mark of civilisation. top

However the use of the term primitive-and-uncultured is unfortunate. It seems to mean that there is only one culture in the entire world - this is contrary to the fact. This one culture would of course be the one in which monogamous kind of marriage is said to predominate. However, even in Europe it has been said that real monogamous marriage has never existed. Of the Romans and the Greeks it has been observed that while their marriage institution was monogamous, they could scarcely ever be said to be monogamous in their sex relations. The more appropriate term to be used in this context should be "successive polygyny". in the civilised world today where divorce and exchange of wives are found to be of frequent occurrence the marriage institution can not be said to be really monogamous. For, a man who begins by having one wife that he can divorce for another at any time, is no more monogamous than an unmarried person is a celibate. Consequently, estimates as to the extent of polygyny in a given society can be very deceptive. In fact, it appears better to say that it is the poor man that is a monogamist all over the world. But it must be moreover remembered that the prohibition of polygyny, which was said to be natural and to be met with among all nation s in a state of 'refinement', was actually promulgated for the first time in any part of the world in the code of Justinian in the sixth century. What must have happened even among the civilised or cultured peoples. before the promulgation of his law could be anybody's guess. Again it must not be forgotten that in any polygynous society most of the men have one wife at any one given time, although they may later take two or more. In fact, as Prof. Grottanelli said "Theoretically vast majority of peoples are polygynous but the rule in such societies is permissive polygyny and actual monogamy. top

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(Taken from unpublished doctoral thesis submitted to Pontifical Urban University, Rome (1970) by Celestine A. Obi)

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